The Crazies

I think my dog might be insane. Like, legitimately. First off, she is currently cowering in the tightest corner she can find, shaking so much that I can literally hear her teeth chattering. I didn't even know dogs' teeth could chatter. Then she tried to climb over my computer tower. There is no room between my desk, the wall, and the computer tower, so I'm not sure where she thought she was going, but I had to put a chair in the way to keep her from breaking anything! While it is a well-known fact in my house that the dog is afraid of rain, snow, spray bottles (really just water in general), thunder, having her picture taken, baths, Great Danes, sunshine, butterflies, lollipops, happiness, etc., she is, at the moment, in the presence of none of the above malevolent forces (except happiness, but that was just hyperbole to demonstrate her craziness).

To add to her lunacy, I sometimes find her with her nose pressed up to within a half-inch of various objects, such as the side of my bed, the leg of a chair, or a cabinet in the kitchen. Let me stop you before you say, "Hold on a tic there, Joderita. She's a dog. Dogs like to sniff things, that's probably what she's doing." She is not sniffing anything. In fact, it's hard to tell if she is, in fact, breathing at all. She stands there, stock-still, gazing into the nothingness before her. Also, she whines about nothing. It's like her new goal in life is to perfect the art of letting air out on a middle C. Perhaps this is always how she's been and I just didn't notice it until Boyfriend started pointing it out. She doesn't appear to be sick, she doesn't need water or food or to be let out, and she has a very cushy comfy place to rest her aging bones. She gets petted regularly, bathed semi-regularly, and rough-housed quite frequently between Boyfriend and me. I'm telling you, my dog = crazy.